Advice threads have become a pretty common place thing over on the ol’ Twitter space and one I keep reading is to NEVER talk about rejection. Not anywhere. Not ever. Apparently we all have to pretend we’re gravy even when we feel like sprouts. Talking about rejection only guarantees more rejection because companies don’t want goods someone else has turned down. Or something like that.
Now, I totally understand not whinging on about how unfair rejection is, how it’s all the rejecter’s fault, and slandering them from here to Timbuktu. No-one wants to read about a sore loser. It makes you look far worse than the person you’re slandering in any case. I’m fully aware that my own rejections have come in for one reason and one alone: I’m not good enough. Each rejection I have is devastating but it makes me analyse myself and how I can be better. I’m not there yet, but hopefully I will be good enough one day. My rejections are no-one’s fault but my own.
Rejection, however, is something everyone faces. Whatever path we walk we can all relate to being rejected in some manner. It sucks (let’s not beat around the bush there) but it’s also such an important step in personal development. Rejection helps us find our true calling, the path we’re really meant to be on, so why erase it?
For me, it’s as though we are sacrificing truth for an attractive feed, and that doesn’t seem like a worthy sacrifice. I’ve spent the last six years entrenched in rejection, it is my daily life and my truth, so why would I not talk about it?
Yes, a picture might get more likes if you’re smiling in a sunshine coloured dress and designer sunnies on a beach in Malibu. However, that’s not real life every day for most people. Most people have dark days, days where everything seems hopeless, days where the rejections seem to all flood in at once (whether that be with writing, friends, jobs, hobbies, rejection is in all corners of life). For me, hearing about those dark days helps my mental health far more than scrolling through social media and thinking everyone else has a perfect life and I’m the only mess dragging down the human race. Which is how I feel already 90% of the time and why I started this blog in the first place.
I read a Twitter thread only this morning instructing people not to EVER talk about rejection no matter what. And it made me question everything. I was actually pretty close to deleting this blog all together. What if this is why I keep getting rejected by agents and employers? What if it isn’t my abilities at all, but my opinions? Then I remembered how I shared a post on Instagram recently about rejection and two people commented using the word inspiring. That’s two people who might feel a tiny bit less alone in their own journey to success because I spoke about my experience, and no-one is going to persuade me that’s a bad thing.
We do all need to remember, though, me most of all (ugh, feelings): Each rejection really does bring us closer to where we’re meant to be. Not one life has the same timeline. We all succeed in different things at different times. It is okay to get upset about rejection, it is okay to feel hopeless and lost, it is also okay to give up on a dream if you need to. Just remember you’re not alone in your struggle. No matter what social media is telling you.
You do you, chaps.