A Life Update and AWOL Explanation

OK, so I should post something to let you know I’m still alive and kicking.

I’M ALIIIIIIIVE.

Life got crazy for a while. It still is crazy. My head’s full to the brim and I feel frantic pretty much always with how desperately I want this Edinburgh move to work.

Please, let it work.

My New Year’s resolution, though, is scheduling time for blogging. Holy crap. I genuinely love writing these posts. However, I also like being able to eat, and as this blog pays me nothing I need to prioritise things I don’t like as much. Oh, the daily grind of adulthood…

Anyway, this will be a little life update post, just to explain why I’ve been completely AWOL on here and my social media platforms. Although, in fairness, I don’t have a dog anymore. What the heck do I even share on Instagram if not funny dog videos?

As you know, I recently got a job as a Christmas temp at Waterstones and it’s definitely been keeping me busy. Add to that the general admin and mental energy expelled with a big move to another country and my schedule’s been pretty tight. There has, technically, been the physical time for blogging but my head has been a little (OK, a lot) all over the place. I’m just finding it so damn hard to gather motivation for anything at the moment. It feels as if someone’s holding down all my limbs. I need to discuss this in its own post really but I, ironically, can’t find the motivation yet.

I haven’t created any fiction in months (I would love to turn this blog into a non-fiction book one day, though, so if you could make it go crazy viral that’d be swell) and so I’m existing as a shell of myself. At a Christmas party earlier this week a man said, “when writers don’t write it’s as if they’re decaying inside”, and while dramatic, it’s so how I feel. But still my stupid brain won’t come up with anything. I have a whole host of half formed ideas, a sequel to ‘The Pairing Fire’ I’d love the chance to write one day, and a half-completed screenplay, yet nothing is jumping out and saying WRITE ME. I feel broken.

Add to all of the above some serious family illness stuff (which is as much detail as I’ll go into here as it concerns more than just me. While sharing ‘behind the filter’ stuff is my speciality, sometimes it’s important to know when not to share anything.). It’s been a pretty jam packed few weeks. No time to plan Christmas content let alone write it—sorry!!!

There is a silver lining, though. I will remain quieter than usual through December (that’s not the silver lining, watch it!), but I’m going to use my Waterstones discount to buy a wall calendar, like I’m a functional adult, and schedule in blog time every week. As if this is a proper job that pays money (I really, really wish it did…). In the meantime, I hope you can bear with me, and please rally your troops for 2020. I’ll be back to my over-sharing self soon. On that note, how the blooming Jesus is it 2020? Where did the 2010s even go? What has happened to time? SO MANY QUESTIONS, but ultimately, I’m beyond happy for 2019 to fuck the hell off. Anyone else?

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